Tue, 27 Apr 2004 08:07:54 GMT

This is for a friend who is going through a rough time right now....

It was about 9 years ago, but I could still remember it vividly, all the details. I was sitting beside my mom who was lying on a hospital bed, my sister on the other side of the bed beside her. Her doctors coming in and standing right in front of us, I looked up and saw their faces and I knew that it was not going to be good news for my mom. They told us that my mom will be needing new set of lungs, because the hole in her heart had caused both her lungs to expand to the point where they said that she only had 6 months to live if she's unable to get the double lung transplant. My mom and sister started to cry right after, I was just sitting there beside my mom, trying to remain strong for both of them. I did not want to shed any tears in front of them, because I had to be strong for them. I was 12 years old at the time, and knowing that there was a chance my mom would not see my 13th birthday was a horrible feeling. When the doctors left, I just had to leave the room, I ran out and saw an empty phone booth. I went inside, and just started crying. My mom had so much to live for, she was only 33 at the time, still very young I had to compose myself before I faced my mom and my sister.

My mom was put on a waiting list right after she was discharge from the hospital. Everyday, my sister and I cherished the time we spent with her. Knowing that each day that passes by is another day lost. It was about 2 months after she was put on the waiting list for a double lung transplant, it was 4 in the afternoon, we got a call from the hospital. It was her doctor, and they had found a match for my mom. I did not know how to react, yes I was happy and thankful that my mom will have another chance in life, but at the same time, we are all aware of all the risks of a huge surgery that she will have to go through. Including death. You can never be prepared to let someone go, especially a loved one. I don't think I'll ever be even now. However, this is the only chance we have to save her life, and she's willing to take the risk to be with us longer. The surgery took 14 agonizing hours. When the doctors came in the family room to tell us that the surgery had gone well, but she was still in critical condition. My mom has been a fighter all her life, I knew deep down, fears aside that she will fight for her life and for my sister and I to survive.

February 29th, 2004 was my mom's 9th year anniversary. What she has gone through over the past years have been a miracle in some ways. But for the most part it was her fighting attitude, a lot of prayers, hope, faith, her family, and her friends that kept her hanging on after all these years. This was a life changing experience for all of us, I treasure life so much, and I am grateful and thankful that god has given my sister and I more time to spend with her. To my friend, take this story as an inspiration, be hopeful and faithful. Most of all, don't ever give up, fight, tell your loved ones including your friends, the battle is easier with their support.

First Entry!

Tue, 30 Mar 2004 07:50:31 GMT

I have initially created a very long entry, just a few minutes ago, I have tried posting it, and unfortunately it DISAPPEARED!!!! Oh well, I will try to remember what I wrote! Well this is indeed my very first journal entry, I have never been a fan of journals, I do love reading other people's thoughts and feelings. I always think mine is not interesting enough, plus I'm not much of a writer compare to others, but I will still give this a try. I have been pressured by a friend to post an entry so this is for you callmecd!

I was initially going to write about my coming out story, thought that would be a perfect way to start this journal, unfortunately, its almost 2am right now, and I am getting quite sleepy. I think I will just leave it for next time. I don't have class tomorrow, actually I dont' have classes tues-thurs. Yes I know, some of you may think I'm so lucky! But for the the past three months, I have been so bored!!! I would rather go to class than try to find things to do. Yeah I could have worked, but I thought I would just take my time and not overworked. I have been working since I was 13. First started off distributing papers at 5am when I was 13. That was almost 10 years ago!! Then had different jobs after that, but always working. This year, since I'm almost done school, and will enter the real world pretty soon. I thought it would be best not to find a full time job. I would just relax and be a bum!!! BIG MISTAKE! I would have been better off working and earning $$$ than relaxing, and not working much. At least I would have money saved up, than being broke most of the time. Oh well, too late now. Anyways, summer is hopefully coming soon, I dont' know if the snow will ever leave! They seem to want to stay forever this year!!! I am looking forward to the summer days. I just love summer in Winnipeg. This city just comes alive in the summer. Plenty of things to do, rollerblade, play tennis, go to BDI for yummy ice cream!, the beach, and so much more things to do! OH yeah, can't forget touch football. I know I haven't paid yet, but I have thought about it, and I have decided to join it! So I'm looking forward to that as well!

Anyways, I should go to bed, before I fall asleeep on the computer table, I'm sure it can happen, I think I may be suffering from some minor type of narcolepsy. Or maybe I just need to sleep more. I think the latter is a better explanation to my chronic nodding off moments in class. Or maybe because they are just way too long (3hours long!!!). Anyways, I'm out of here! Till next time!

Soul Expression

First Entry!